Halloween Jokes

Halloween Jokes

Why couldn't the witch have children? 

Her husband had a hallow weenie. 

Which ghost is the best dancer? 

The Boogie Man! 

How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween?

Pump kin! 

When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? 

On Fry Day 

What's a monsters favorite desert? 

I-Scream! 

What do you call a Halloween boner? 

Petrified wood 

What do you call a dancing ghost?

Polka-haunt-us 

What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? 

A "hollow-weenie!" 

Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? 

The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes). 

How do you write a book about halloween? 

With a ghostwriter. 

See more: Funny jokes for adults

Chipmunk Jokes

Chipmunk Jokes

Q: Why do chipmunks swim on there back? 

A: To keep their nuts dry! 

Q: Why did the chipmunk cross the road? 

A: To prove to the possum that it could be done! 

Q: Why was the chipmunk late for work? 

A: Traffic was NUTS. 

Q: How many chipmunks does it take to change a light bulb? 

A: Actually, none because chipmunks only change bulbs that are NUT broken. 

Q: Why does it take more than one chipmunk to screw in a lightbulb? 

A: Because they're so darn stupid! 

Q: Why can't you be friends with a chipmunk? 

A: They drive everyone nuts. 

Q: Why do Chip N Dale sit on their butts all day? 

A: To keep their nuts dry! 

Q: What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips? 

A: A chipmunk. 

Q: What do you call a chubby chipmunk? 

A: Theodorable. 

Q: Why shouldn't you rape a tree? 

A: There might be a chipmunk in there looking for nuts. 

Q: Why don't chipmunks wear skinny jeans? 

A: Because their nuts won't fit. 

Q: How does Alvin the Chipmunk like to drive a car? 

A: Fast and Furry-ous.

Q: Why did the chipmunk take apart the classic car? 

A: To get down to the nuts and bolts. 

Q: Why couldn't the chipmunk eat the macadamia nut? 

A: It was one tough nut to crack. 

Q: Why shouldn't you let Alvin drive a boat? 

A: He's likely to get Chipwrecked. 

Q: What do you call 144 chipmunks in a box? 

A: Gross! 

See more: Funny jokes to tell your friends

Dog Jokes For Kids That Are Really Funny

Dog Jokes

Q: Why did the dog wear white sneakers? 

A: Because his boots were at the menders! 

Q: Why does a dog lick his own dick? 

A: Because he cant make a fist 

Q: Why does the dog bring toilet paper to the party? 

A: Because he is a party pooper. 

Q: What is a dog's favorite food? 

A: Anything that is on your plate! 

Q: What is the only kind of dog you can eat? 

A: A hot dog! 

Q: What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it? 

A: A sausage dog! 

Q: What did the cat say to the dog? 

A: Check meow-t! 

Q: What do you do if your dog eats your pen? 

A: Use a pencil instead! 

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah? 

A: A dog that chases cars - and catches them! 

Q: What happens when it rains cats and dogs? 

A: You can step in a poodle! 

Q: What do you call a dog that licks an electrical socket? 

A: Sparky. 

Q: Where did the dog fall asleep? 

A: In the barking lot. 

Q: What happens when you throw a ball in a dogs throat? 

A: It comes out as ballshit. 

Q: What's a dogs favorite kind of pizza? 

A: Pupperoni. 

Q: What time is it when ten dogs chase a cat? 

A: Ten After One. 

Q: What do you call a dog with a Rolex? 

A: A watch dog. 

Q: Why was the cat scared of the tree? 

A: Because of its bark. 

Q: What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear? 

A: A petticoat! 

Q: What do you call a dog with a fever? 

A: A hot dog. 

See more:  Funny jokes for kids