Redneck Valentines Jokes Funny

Redneck Valentines Jokes

You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud; 

I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. 

On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits, 

Well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits. 

And speakin' of wits, you've got plenty fer shore. 

'Cuz you married me back in '74. 

Still them fellers at work they all want to know, 

What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe. 

Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man, 

To patch up life's troubles and stick 'em in the can. 

Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler racin' through the mud, 

Yet fragile as that sanger named Naomi Judd. 

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. 

You ain't mean like no far ant upon which I oft' tread. 

Cut from the best pattern like a flannel shirt of plaid, 

You sparked up my life like a Rattletrap shad. 

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, 

My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack. 

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'. 

Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'. 

And when you get old like a '57 Chevy, 

Won't put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy. 

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank, 

We go together like a skunk goes with stank. 

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; 

They git it at Wal-Mart; It's romantic that way. 

Some men git roses on that special day, 

From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say. 

See more: Clean joke of the day