Defendant
A judge asks a defendant to please stand.
"You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw." From the back of the courtroom a man shouts,
"You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says,
"You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel." "You tightwad!" blurts the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge.
"You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a... " the spectator starts to shout. The judge thunders back,
" I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?"
"I've lived next to that lying bastard for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"
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