Circus Jokes--Funny Jokes Jokes

Circus Jokes 

Did you hear about the circus fire? 

Yeah, it was in'tents'. 

What did the egg say to the clown? 

You crack me up! 

How do you get a retired carnie off your porch? 

Pay him for the pizza. 

What is the gooey red stuff between an elephant's toes? 

Slow clowns. 

Did you hear about the circus clown funeral? 

All his friends came in one car. 

How do you make a juggler laugh? 

You tickle his balls. 

Why did the elephant leave the circus? 

He was tired of working for peanuts. 

How do you kill a circus clown? 

Go for the juggler! Why don't cannibals eat clowns? 

Because they taste funny! 

Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton. 

Why don't sharks eat clowns? They taste funny. How is being at the singles bar different from going to the circus? 

At the circus the clowns don't talk. Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it's all screaming. 

I manufactured clown shoes.....which was no small feat. My departed uncle was a circus clown. 

After he died all his friends came to the funeral in one car. Is your dad a carnie (carnival worker) 

Because I want you sit to on my face while I try to guess your weight. Lets play circus, first sit on my face i'll guess ur weight and i'll eat the difference. 

Jokes About Mother--Funny Jokes Jokes

Jokes About Mother

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. 

“Mother, where do babies come from?” 

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. 

One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” 

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, 

“That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. 

That’s how you get a baby, honey.” 

The child seems to comprehend. 

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” 

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Circumcised Boy Jokes

Circumcised Boy 

A young 7 year old boy wanted to be circumcised when he realized he looked different than dad and his friends. A day after the proceedure he returned to school. 

During class, he felt under the weather and asked for permission to go to the nurse. 

When he arrived at her office, he hesitated and finally just asked if he could call his mother. Sensing this was personal, the nurse stepped into the hall and closed the door to allow him privacy. Several minutes later the little boy came out of her office and the nurse noticed his penis was sticking out of his pants. "Where are you going?" she asked. 

"Back to class," said the boy. "But you can't go back like that!" explained the nurse. "I have to," stressed the boy. "My mother said that if I could just stick it out until lunchtime, she would come and pick me up." 

Senility Prayer--Funny Jokes Jokes

SENILITY PRAYER 

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. As I've grown older (but refused to grow up) I've discovered: 

ONE- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 

TWO- My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran. 

THREE- I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart. 

FOUR- Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... 

FIVE- All reports are in; life is now officially unfair. 

SIX- If all is not lost, where is it? SEVEN- It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 

EIGHT- Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. NINE- I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few... 

TEN- Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 

ELEVEN- Accidents in the back seat cause...kids. 

TWELVE- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 

THIRTEEN- The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. 

FOURTEEN- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. 

FIFTEEN- When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to  play chess? 

SIXTEEN- It's not hard to meet expenses...  they're everywhere. 

SEVENTEEN- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 

EIGHTEEN- These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.